How To Ask For What You Need

I want to give you some tips on a topic that's been really prevalent this last two weeks with my clients. It's about women not feeling that they are appreciated or feeling that they are valued at home. Now, we can talk about societal expectations and family values and beliefs and our own expectations that we put on ourselves plus those expectations that we try to meet and that other people put on us. One of the things that's really important is to look at what your own values are, around what your value is. What are you worth? Until you can really sort of sit and say, this is what I am worth. This is who I am. This is what I bring. And this is how I want to be treated. Then everyone else is going to treat you, exactly how you treat yourself.


So, if you don't value yourself, if you don't put yourself first, if you don't make clear what your expectations are, what your needs are of how you want to be treated and viewed, then nobody else really has any idea of how you want to be treated either. So it's really important to make it really clear about what it is that you need. Because I know that that's something that can be really difficult for some people is actually asking for you what you need. A lot of the time it's difficult because we don't actually know. We think that we know what we need, but a lot of the time we don't. So, if you're having troubles, thinking about what it is that you need, think about it in terms of what is it that other people do that makes you feel really good.


What makes you feel valued, appreciated and loved? Think about it in terms of the feelings that you get when people behave certain ways. So then when you're thinking about asking for what you need, you're talking about how it makes you feel. This can make it much easier to ask for what you need and make it much easier for the person who you're telling to actually hear.


If you're asking for people to change their behavior, to make you feel a certain way, and you're really focusing on what they do that makes you feel really good, really positive and supported and loved and valued. The person who you're telling is much more likely to hear that. And is much more likely to be able to change or adapt their behavior to allow you to feel the way that you need to feel.


So, give that a go and see what happens.


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